
With Lindsay Lohan out of rehab and sober, Britney forced to undergo court-mandated drug testing, and Paris too preoccupied with spreading goodwill and STDs across the globe, we here at Webster’s picked a helluva time to start a gossip blog. So, we’re just going to create our own excitement by introducing W.I.M.B.’s celebrity rehab pool. Starting today, and on the 27th of each month hereinafter (or the next business day after the 27th), Webster’s will be running our $100 monthly celebrity rehab pool. How does it work? Easy.
In the comments section, pick the celebrity you believe will be the next to enter a rehab facility. It’s first come, first serve, and the contest restarts each month. $100 goes to the winner. The criteria are as follows:
1) Must be a bona fide celebrity, as adjudicated by our Fame Committee, which consists of Stacey, myself, the Manslave, Webster's Dominatrix, and popular opinion.
2) The celebrity must have had one moderately high-profile gig in the last two years. In other words, Steve Guttenberg counts, but Todd Bridges does not.
3) Only top tier reality stars are eligible, which include only finalists in any of the following: “Survivor,” “American Idol,” or “Dancing with the Stars.”
4) The rehab must be for drugs, alcohol, or homosexuality. Evidence that that celebrity is in rehab must be confirmed by a legitimate news source;
The National Enquirer doesn’t count, but AP or Reuters does.
5) Only guesses within the first 48 hours of each monthly contest count. If the contest starts on the 27th, guesses are only good until noon on the 29th of each month.
6) Leave your guess in the comments section; please, don’t forget to add your email address so that we can contact you. We will not, however, sell, barter, or eat your email address (in fact, unless you win, we won’t even bother to check that you entered it). Only one winner per month; the contest ends when we arbitrarily decide to end it.
And with that: Take your guesses.
Nicole Kidman. How can you stand by your man unless you drink with him, too?
Daniel Dae Kim. I'm sticking with the Losties.
Mary-Kate Olsen
Britney Spears - Drug tests are for losers...
Jamie Foxx. He can't handle the downfall after his Oscar win.
Amy Winehouse. This crazy bitch has got to be Vegas's betting favorite
Javier Bardem.
Just because I'm rooting for the ultimate underdog in this scenario.
Kate Moss FTW
Vince Vaughn. Going with a dark horse.
Angelina Jolie
Shia LaBeouf
Marie Osmond
Jonathan Rhys Meyers.
He just checked out, but got arrested recently and his mom just passed. He'll be back in within 2 weeks.
Rosie O'Donnell- just seems like she is on the crazy wagon already.
Dakota Fanning. Cause she's that age.
Trent Lott, gotta blame the dickering on something.
To confirm - this contest does not allow our "reality stars" So New York or Nick Hogan aren't applicable?
Hmm... I think Nick Hogan would probably count, but definitely not New York. (Sorry girlfriend! You know Stacey loves you!)
Perez Hilton - Just love the picture you guys have of that prissy little cunt with a big black eye.
Pete Doherty
Jessica Simpson--she would be a fabulous vacant-eyed mess as a drunk. Oh wait, maybe she doesn't need alcohol.
Sienna Miller
Tom Sizemore. Unless he's already there.
I'm going out on a limb and saying Michael Douglas.
Tara Reid.
Charlie Sheen.
I really wanted to say Shia LaBeuof, but since that is already taken, my guess is Racheal Ray.
You know it would be funny.
No one for this month. Too few days left.
Teri Hatcher
Owen Wilson.