Friendship Defined:
The emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends.

With their impending world tour on the horizon, the Spice Girls have released the video for their new single "Headlines (Friendship never Ends)" -- and I must say, the ironic foreshadowing is nothing short of intoxicating. As if we're supposed to believe "friendship" means a single damn thing with these five harpies joining forces once again. To those giddy with excitement to see where the first cog in the Spice Machine will come loose -- well, you needn't wait long. Sources are already reporting that Posh, whose only talents are looking pensive, consuming negative calories per day and dancing like Bruce McCullough, has been told she'll need to like, eat stuff to keep her energy up for the tour. There goes a whole one-third of her talent, right out the window!

"First Victoria is going on a week-long cleanse where she will only be able to drink hot lemon water and eat organic fruit and vegetables to detox her system," says my source. "She will have to keep this up for five days even though she will be training. Her new diet is based on eating small bowls of brown rice with steamed vegetables.

"She is terrified of putting on a single pound and has had to be talked into increasing her food intake," adds my mole.

Whew, if forcing nutrition on a girl ain't enough to make tensions run high, I don't know what is. This tour is going to be the equivalent of locking five feral cats in a cage together and spraying them down with a cold hose every hour. The claws, blood and fur are going to be flying, and to be honest, I just don't know if everyone will make it out alive.

If you've just gotta see the three minutes and some change of mood lighting, skimpy outfits, wistful gazes through a heavily Vaselined camera lens for yourself, you'll find the video for "Headlines (Friendship never Ends)" after the jump.