Skull Fuck
Skull Fuck Defined
To have non-consensual sexual intercourse with someone's skull via their eye socket.
Andrew Morton, notable biographer of both Princess Diana and Monica Lewinsky, is working on a biography of Tom Cruise, and apparently, Mr. Maniacal Grin isn't happy about it. In fact, Morton is scared for his life.
He tells British newspaper the Sunday Express: "I have received threats from the Scientologist's and things have become pretty heavy - to the extent that it's almost more than my lawyers can handle.Um. Clearly, Mr. Morton hasn't done the requisite research on Scientology in advance of his biography. If he had, he'd know that it's almost impossible to hide from Xenu. The guy brought billions of people to earth over over 75 million years ago in Douglas DC-8 airliners, stacked them around volcanoes, and blew them up with hydrogen bombs. You think Xenu can't find a natty British biographer? Morton, you're screwed. Cruise is gonna skull-fuck you in your sleep. In fact, there is only one way to hide from Scientologists: Coat yourself in a thin layer of ostrich placenta, drink the blood of a Fanning sister, and hide under Keith Urban's bed.
"I've sold my flat and I'm not telling anyone where I'm moving to. I intend to disappear for a while."
While it is funny to be hiding from the Scientologists, I should point out the obvious...They are against Xenu as well. Anyone who watches South Park knows that.
Really Morton,is it worth it?
We all know Tom's c-c-c-craaaazzzzyyyy!
can we make sure that fanning sister is dakota? i don't think elle has earned it as much as dakota "the anti-christ" fanning.
I thought South Park's depiction of Tom Cruise was pretty accurate and can be relied upon as his biography...Why do we need another one?
Before even reading this Blog i burstout laughing. Somthin about a picture of Tom under "Skull Fuck" in Bold letters. Almost as if you took the phrase and turned it into a delightfully funny noun!
Sounds like some kind of Helatrobus line plot to me