Whitener Fiend
A whitener fiend refers to someone who has developed an uncontrollable addiction to Crest Whitening strips, characterized by a narcissistic compulsion to maintain their youth by overuse.

Poor Ian Ziering. Post-"9021" life has not been kind to the man -- he's been reduced to voice-work on third-rate animated shows ("Biker Mice from Mars") and hasn't had a decent role in anything since Steve Sanders quit his job to become a stay-at-home father. It's apparent from the above photo that Ian has hit hard times -- clearly, he's a whitener fiend. He's overextended the two-to-four week treatment recommended by Crest by nearly a decade, and his teeth are beginning to look translucent and blotchy. I feel for the guy. You can see, within his smile, a desperate cry for help. He's in agony, people. I suspect his teeth are so sensitive at this point that he can no longer drink iced liquids without crying inside.

Put down the whitestrips. Get help, Ian. We're pulling for you, buddy.