Good God! Look at this handsome collection of Hollywood hunkage. Three men so off the charts, they exist on a stratospheric plane beyond People Magazine's 50 Most Beautiful Celebrities -- they're, like, the three hottest men of the universe for all time. Known collectively as The Ass Magnets, alone Justin Long, Seth Rogen, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse are capable of attracting massive amounts of tail, but put them together, and it's like a giant ultraviolet ass zapper-- the gravitational pull is so overpowering that its been known to alter the shape of certain asses. Women who come within a 60-foot radius often find themselves pulling melted panty out of their bejejas for days. It's not a matter of who these fellas go home with, but a matter how of many women they are capable of satisfying in a single, overnight period -- models, celebrities, secretaries, and dental hygienists all stand in a line around the block from Casa Ass and wait, in assembly-line fashion, for the chance to be tapped by an Ass Magnet

Unfortunately, only a lucky 50 - 60 women are granted tap status each night, while the rest are given the above photo, and a voice recording of the three talking dirty and left alone to take care of their own itches, itches that burn for weeks and weeks.

More ass magnets at the Walk Hard premiere.