Cookie Monster
After years of pressure from parents and fascist health councils fed up with the glorification of moist, delicious chocolate chip treats, "Sesame Street's" Cookie Monster has unfortunately been pulled from the show. The absence has left an opening on "Monsterpiece Theater," formerly hosted by the Cookie Monster, under the guise of Alistair Cookie. However, today PBS unveiled plans to revive "Monsterpiece Theater" with a new host, the "X-Files'" Gillian Anderson. The addition is quite a boon to the series, in part because of Anderson's star wattage and also because insiders don't believe that Anderson will eat the smoking pipes. Producers are likewise confident that she will be able to swallow her food. On-set employees of the old "Monsterpiece Theater" had grown increasingly annoyed with Cookie's inability to chew with his mouth closed, as well as the unpleasant mess of crumbs he frequently left behind. Anderson represents an entirely new direction in the series, though the beauty says that she plans to continue gnawing on the set's infamous chair.
The first episode, a reprisal of Grover's 39 Steps, is set to air in January. Omm nom nom.
Cooke Monster is a popular Muppet character on the children's show, "Sesame Street." He is covered in blur fur and has googly eyes, but he is best known for his voracious appettite and his famous eating sound, "Omm nom nom nom."
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She is smokin' hot.
It's sad to see Cookie Monster go. While I understand the desire to encourage better eating habits in today's youth, I'm of the mind that children can see people eating cookies, and like people who eat cookies, without becoming convinced that a cookie-only diet would sustain them sufficiently. Perhaps I give the children too much credit.
Were I Gillian Anderson, and lord knows I wish I was, I would stage personal protests which scale up as she progresses. Start with eating a single chocolate covered almond on the show, then next week a Mars bar, then next week a hamburger. Work your way towards three months in, at which point you drink absinthe a week before dropping acid.
WTF? Cookie Monster's been pulled from Sesame Street? What's next, Jesus will be exised from the New Testament?
What is wrong with these people?!?!?! If you don't want your kids to eat a cookie, don't let them eat a goddamned cookie. It's called PARENTING, people!
Sheesh!
Is this for real? Cookie Monster has really been pulled from the show due to fascism disguised as concern for the children? What a load of bullshit. I guess I'll have to eat my words when childhood obesity trends are suddenly reversed and we realize all along that this was the fix we needed.
Fuck that. Cookie Monster was there long before these new annoying muppets came on.....don't even get me started on the mindfuck that has become "Elmo's World"
That said, I DO enjoy Gillian Anderson. Good for her -- from what I understand (which isn't much) its nearly impossible to land an appearance, let alone a regular gig on SS.
Wait - They've pulled Cookie Monster for good? That is just ridiculous. He's the id, for god's sake - he's the part of the little kid that just wants the damn cookies. It's joyous that he's there, representing for that - taking him away won't make kids shun cookies for god's sake, it just robs parents of a fun intro to talking about moderation.
What joyless lives these people want for their children....
i lose my faith in humanity whenever i read about stupid things being done to appease stupid people.
people, if your kids won't eat anything but cookies, it's not cookie monster's fault. it's probably because you're an imbecile parent.