In response to the allegations by French model Alexandra Paressant of having an extramarital affair, Tony Parker has finally released a statement claiming that not only is it not true -- but he's never even met the woman.

"Tony adamantly and unconditionally denies ever having laid eyes on this woman, let alone having had an affair with her," says the attorney, Stanton "Larry" Stein of the firm Dreier Stein & Kahan. "The allegations of the supposed affair are entirely false and fabricated."

Hmmm... Never laid eyes on her? That sounds convenient. A bit too convenient. Well, there's only one way to settle this -- and that's to bring the whole lot of them on Maury. That's how I gather these affairs are usually sorted out, anyway. "Tony Parker, when asked if you had sex with model Alexandra Paressant, you said no -- the lie detector says: 'That's a LIE!' You had sex with her more than twenty times."

That's how I imagine it would play out, anyway. The men are always lying. Anyone who watches Maury knows that.