Sources close to Ashlee Simpson have revealed exclusively to Webster's is my Bitch that the starlet has a very rare condition known as locked in syndrome, whereby a patient is fully cognitive and wide awake, but is incapable of communication because of complete paralysis to the body -- the condition is tantamount to being buried alive.

Poor Ashlee. You can even see all the symptoms in her latest magazine cover. She's buried beneath all that gloss and make-up like a woman trapped in a porcelain body mold. Deep, deep (deep) down, there's a poor, dazed Simpson sister dying to get out.

Blink once, Ashlee, if you can hear us!