Madonna continues to prove why she's such an unbearable bitch. Eat it, Louise. Why don't you bend yourself out of existence. (IDLYITW)

"Everyone knows that the French only know two positions in the first place — 'on their backs under a white flag' and 'cheeks spread, begging the Germans to be gentle.'" Eep. (Yeeeah!)

Imus apparently believes that if you don't support Mike Huckabee, then you're gay. But if you like Don Imus, then you're just a insufferable dumbass. (Queerty)

Jenna Fischer still hasn't figured out how to work the red carpet. (Evil Beet)

Maxim has selected its Sexiest Women of the Year. And by "sexy," they mean: Any woman willing to take off her clothes. (Cityrag)

Tara Reid has five bolts in her tummy. Does that make her Frankenhooker? (Celebitchy)

Tired of your old breast implants? Sell them on EBay! (Ayyyy!)

Lily Allen clearly forgot to wear a bra again. Oh, Lily. (Usemycomputer)

Kate Beckinsale expects more, but pays less! (Derek Hail)