Oh, wow! This one is gonna be awesome. I can feel it now -- nice and plump. This ain't no nose goblin -- it's a motherfucking snot gnome. Slimy but completely intact. Damn! This one is gonna get a ribbon at the county fair. It's huge -- I gotta get it quick or it's going to start poking at my brain. I just gotta snake up past it on the left, crook my nail juuuuust right, and (pop!) there you are, you little munchkin. How long have you been hiding out up there, huh? You sneaky bastard. I gotta take a picture of you with my camera phone and send it to Haylie. She will flip!

Now, how am I going to get you off my finger? (shakes hand wildy). Shit -- it's still stuck there. What the? (flick flick flick). Damnit. Oh look -- there's Avril. Oooh. Now would be a great time to make up. I'll just give her a hug and wipe it off on the back of her shirt. Perfect. Evil, but perfect. "Hey Avril, c'mere ..."