Jonah Hill: Let me offer you a little advice, OK? I know you're probably new to these big celebrity parties, and probably never expected that Superbad would launch you into semi-stardom. But listen to me, OK? I'm sure at certain events, like an "SNL" cast party or a comic-book convention, you can just say, "Hey! I'm Jonah Hill. I was in Superbad and Knocked Up" and you're probably going to get laid that night.

But this is the GQ Man of the Year Awards we're talking about. If you want to get laid, this is very important: Always stand next to Seth Rogen and never stand next to Emile Hirsch. The contrast is just too much for most women to handle. It's like K-Fed asking Brad Pitt to be his wingman and then complaining because Brad took the good looking one home. I mean, what did you expect? That Brad Pitt was gonna go home with Ms. Humpty while you hooked up with Ms. Teen North Carolina. No. That's not how it works.