Amy Winehouse plans to make time in her busy schedule of snorting blow and visiting her loser husband in jail to stage an awesomely awesome comeback performance at the Grammy awards in February. Hmmm... Where have I heard this before?

Well, I hate to break it to Amy Winehouse fans out there, but I wouldn't hold your breath. I'd rank "Triumphant Return of Amy Winehouse" on the comeback likeliness scale right behind the Arch Deluxe and Hypercolor clothing. But to be fair -- in their day, Hypercolor T-Shirts were a hell of a lot cooler than Amy Winehouse ever was.