Extra Big Ass Fries, Please
If this clip from "American Gladiators" is not undeniable, incontrovertible proof that America is quickly hurtling -- like demon seed toward a Spears' womb -- toward a retardocracy, then I don't know what the hell is. Until last week, this show was the highest-rated new show of the year -- proof positive that the American citizenry would watch a man thump his own testicles if it were on network television during primetime.
I was so happy that someone finally hit the gladiator in Assault that I cheered. Until this twat did her spontaneous whoron dance of joy. When she kept telling the gladiators that she'd "stomp them like a bull" or "give em the horns", (you know, cause she's a cow-gal) I started to check labels on prescription medicine to see what I could mix to kill myself swiftly. When she got all teary-eyed saying she wanted the money so she could "get her mama out of that trailer", every orafice in my body released. Do you know how hard it is to get earvomit out of curtains?
The only satisfaction I got, other than her getting beaten, was finding out the next day, that she's actually a porn star.
Wait...you mean American Gladiators is NOT about men thumping their testicles? Huh.
Well, in the movie Idiocracy the #1 show in America is called "Ow, My Balls", but you probably already knew that!
Oh my god! I dont know if thats the funniest or most retarded thing I have ever seen.
Uh, I'm sorry, but "American Gladiators" is maybe the most hysterical show on TV. I'm not sure it will ever live up to the original (YouTube "American Gladiator Malibu" for proof) but it's so, so awesome. Before this, my friends and I had to make drunken bets on re-runs of "Legends of the Hidden Temple."