Guess what everybody? Jessica Simpson is getting back to her roots! No, not brunette, sillies -- she's recording a country album in Nashville. Duh.

"I am a country girl," she told the magazine. "I grew up in Texas, and country music was what I listened to. I always wanted to wait until the time was right."

Wonder how she Papa Joe determined that the time was finally right? I'm sure it had nothing to do with her being a colossal failure at every other aspect of life -- like acting, marriage, bad pop music, dating, and being a Dallas Cowboys good luck charm. But bad pop-country music? That's the ticket! You keep on reachin' for that lowest common denominator, Jessica!