God damn, Lindsay Lohan is looking haggard. How old is this bitch again, 45? I've seen hollow-cheeked prostitutes on "COPS" wearing lipstick on their meth-sore laden chins with teeth jutting out like an unkempt picket fence who possess more youthful glow and exuberance than Lindsay.

On the bright side, if Hollywood ever decides to do a big screen adaptation of the ubiquitous series, Lindsay Lohan's career might not be totally dead after all. I'm telling you, "Crack Whore #3" has got her name written all over it.