We didn't report on Eddie Murphy's shammy "marriage" to Tracey Edmonds in Bora Bora a couple weeks back, because quite frankly, we don't give a rat's ass about Eddie Murphy or his happiness. But now that the they've suddenly split up, I guess you could say we suddenly "care."

"After much consideration and discussion, we have jointly decided that we will forego having a legal ceremony as it is not necessary to define our relationship further. "While the recent symbolic union in Bora Bora was representative of our deep love, friendship and respect that we have for one another on a spiritual level, we have decided to remain friends.”

You know, after that whole "denying paternity of Scary Spice's baby thing," on top of another failed marriage, I'm starting to think that in addition to being a turd smear on American pop culture -- Eddie Murphy is really just a fucking loser who can't commit to anything. So even though Eddie may sleep at night on a bed of Shrek money with a diamond encrusted Norbit pillow, at least we have the satisfaction of knowing that he sleeps alone. Or, with the occasional prostitute.