In an unexplained phenomenon, Nicole Kidman's "made by Frigidaire" (Solutions for Real Life!) uterus has allegedly become impregnated with girl-haired country singer husband Keith Urban's whiskey-diluted sperm. The only question here is who do we have to thank for this miracle -- science or Jesus? Although, it does kind of make sense since alcohol is impervious to freezing temperatures and all. Hmmm... I'll award that point to science.

Update I: (12/31) This story is a complete falsity.

Update II: (01/08) Nicole Kidman is a fucking liar and she really is pregnant.