Rehab: Noun. a course of treatment for drug or alcohol addiction, typically at a facility in which the patient is compelled to reside for a period of several weeks or months.

I think I've heard rumors to this effect at least a dozen times since she became a professional drug addict, but according to a statement released by her record label, Amy Winehouse is finally, indubitably and unequivocally going to rehab.

I know it's the best thing for her, because really -- no one wants to see her wind up dead or anything. Yet at the same time I can't help but think about the perfectly good nicknames like "Amy Wino" and "Crackhouse" that are going to be just wasted if she gets sober. I mean Cleanhouse? Amy Winofunanymore? Sigh... It's just not the same.