Reports have surfaced that the Associated Press has already begun to prepare Britney Spears' obituary -- presumably because of all that darn mental instability, substance abuse and vehicular irresponsibility.

"We are not wishing it, but if Britney passed away, it’s easily one of the biggest stories in a long time," AP entertainment editor Jesse Washington tells Us.

Well, jokes on them -- because the Associated Press just became responsible for ensuring Britney Spears a long and healthy life. It's called reverse psychology, my friends. Because when the hell has Britney ever done anything she's told? Whether it's "show up at court," or "die a tragic death" -- Britney Spears will do whatever the opposite is of anything you tell her. After this, I think it's pretty safe to assume she'll will live to be 115 years old.