Gwyneth wasn't treated for “removing the giant stick from her pompous ass.” (Yeeeah!)

Paris Hilton endorses something... Vapidity, perhaps. (Jordan Is Your Homeboy)

The talented young actor Brad Renfro is dead at age 25. (Fatback)

Pete Doherty has a new model friend; starts washing face. (Agent Bedhead)

The Spice Girls suck it in at the Roberto Cavalli Fall-Winter show. (usemycomputer)

Johnny Depp: good parent, philanthropist, all-around awesome guy. (IDLYITW)

Tom Cruise tried to order a Jennifer Garner model before Katie, but they were all sold out. (CelebWarship)

If you think "Britney, naked and covered in cold sores" can't get more disgusting -- read on, my friend. (The Blemish)