This the most asinine thing I've ever heard, but Us Weekly is reporting that Britney Spears somehow finagled access to a dance class full of five year old kids yesterday. Everyone does know she's a habitual drug user who just escaped from the mental hospital and incidentally isn't allowed within so many feet of her own children, right? Great!

Britney looked happy and upbeat, he said. Madonna’s “Material Girl” and “True Blue” were part of her play list. Britney led the class in “her favorite brown cowboy boots, fishnet stockings, a red short skirt, and a bluish greenish top that hangs down past her skirt.”

Parents for the seven kids waited outside while she taught. A little girl, who took the class, gushed, "We had so much fun. Britney was wearing little red shorts and she looked so pretty” as she and her mother headed to their car.

Ooookay, so that would be the outfit pictured above, which doesn't look appropriate to be worn panhandling for a fix, much less imparting your influence on a bunch of burgeoning minds. I should hope they at least had the good sense to have animal control on hand, with some of those tasers on the sticks that they use when bears escape into residential neighborhoods.