Deuce Droppings
Deuce Droppings. Noun. Slang for excrement.
I've been reluctant to speak of this, if only because the very thought not only makes my ears bleed, it makes them spray geysers of earwax and hemoglobulous matter. But it's there. And this news sits on my chest like a steaming, three-ton pile of deuce droppings.
Perez Hilton has a $100,000 deal with Warner Brothers to start his own music label. Unbelievable! The man can't string a goddamn sentence together, and yet he will help to guide the future of our music industry. Would you trust a guy who dresses like that to pick out your music? And people wonder why the music industry is dying. It's not illegal downloads -- it's dumbass decisions like this.
And, of course, the ink hasn't even dried on the contract and Perez has already signed his first musical group. Here's their video -- and I have to begrudgingly admit, it's catchy!
And we still claim that we are relevant in the world. America has gone, irretrievably, down the crapper.
Thank god Im from Canada. Sure we are to blame for Celine Dion. And for that I am sorry. But I think you guys are fucked. Good luck with the upcoming apocalypse.
Yes, you're right, America is dying.
Think about a society that uses suicide bombers to get their point across. Now envision a society that is so lazy and has so much time on their hands that they've allowed themselves to produce Perez Hilton. Yeah.
Celine Dion, AND Nickelback, and Avril Lavigne, AND Honeymoon Suite, AND April Wine, AND Loverboy, Trooper.
The kid IS hot tonight, Carolyn. But I ask you, where will he be tomorrow.
Oooh, do the Snow Miser/Heat Miser songs! Follow that up with Nightman/Dayman, and I just might get out of bed tomorrow!
Again I am deeply sorry. I am curently hanging my head in shame. I must have subconsciously blocked the rest of those out. Seriously cause I hate me some Nickelback. Poser assholes!