Fatties Inc: Hypothetical weight loss brand based on the fictional program to help people quit smoking in "Quitters Inc.," a short story by Stephen King.

After getting her ass fired from Jenny Craig, Kirstie Alley has released a statement announcing that she is going to develop her own weight loss plan, which will ideally launch sometime next year. So... uh, yeah! Take that, Jenny Craig.

I want to create something new that will help millions of people end the seemingly never ending fatty-roller coaster ride. I am especially passionate about seeing to it that our next generations are not struggling with the same weight issues that my generation has struggled with.

From what I heard, she's going to call this new weight loss program "Fatties Inc." -- supposedly the way it works is that Kirstie Alley will actually come to your house and eat the food right off your plate. Insiders say it's got a 100% success rate, although side affects include "death by starvation" and having to smell Kirstie's "fettucini farts."