Wanker. Noun. A complete tosser. Someone who makes as little effort as they can possibly get away with.

Fuck me! You are a wanker, Perez. A class-A dipshit. What the fuck is wrong with you? Seriously? How many times were you dropped on your goddamn head as a child? In what fucking universe is it cool to show up to a prestigious awards ceremony in a fur coat and a shower cap? Have some goddamn respect for yourself. And for the ceremony you're attending, even if it another self-congratulatory affair. You're almost 30 years old now: Where's your dignity? If you don't want to be a walking punchline, then stop dressing like one, shitbird. How much do you have to loathe yourself to go out into the world dressed like a cartoon ape? You're the most popular blogger in the world, man: Do you see the impression that you make for all other bloggers? We besmirch ourselves enough as it is, jackass -- we don't need your help.

I hope PETA takes you out behind a woodshed and smothers you with that fur coat. Maybe put your out of your goddamn misery because, honestly, I'm starting to feel pity for you, Perez. Some real goddamn pity.