Altruistic: (Adjective) The belief in or practice of disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others.

On yesterday's Oprah, Drew Barrymore announced that she's donating one million dollars of her own money to the World Food Programme to feed starving children in Kenya, as evidenced by the oversized novelty check pictured above. In a statement, Drew says:

"I have seen with my own eyes what a difference a simple cup of nutritious porridge can make in a child's life. It helps them learn, stay healthy and sets them on track for a bright future."

Porridge?! Just how the hell is porridge going to give anyone a bright future?! If Drew was really altruistic, she would have used that million dollars to buy one of those starving kids, rip that child out of his or her native land to be lavished upon a life of luxury and comfort. But I guess that's what sets apart so-called humanitarians like Drew "Half-Assed" Barrymore from the real saints like Madonna and Angelina Jolie.