Bros

jessicaparker.jpg

Bro (Noun) Obnoxious partying males who are often seen at college parties. When they aren’t making an ass of themselves they usually just stand around holding a red plastic cup waiting for something exciting to happen so they can scream something that demonstrates how much they enjoy partying.

I don’t find Sarah Jessica Parker a particularly sexy woman, at least not since L.A. Story, but she’s far from the least sexiest woman in Hollywood, so named by Maxim Magazine. That designation, unfortunately, hurt Mrs. Parker’s feelings:

Do I have big fake boobs, Botox and big lips? No. Do I fit some ideals and standards of some men writing in a men's magazine? Maybe not. Am I really the unsexiest women in the world? Wow! It's so brutal in a way, so filled with rage and anger. It upset him (her husband, Matthew Broderick), because it has to do with his judgment too. It's condemnation, it's insane. What can I do? (Source)

Here’s an idea, Jessica: Stop giving a shit what Maxim Magazine says. Maybe you’ve never read Maxim, huh? It’s targeted toward Frat Boys and other Neanderthal douchebags whose idea of sexy is a woman too drunk to run away from them. It’s like glossy misogyny for red-cup holding bros. I’m surprised the goddamn magazine doesn’t come with Kleenex and Vaseline Jelly to better serve the pathetic male readership who can’t even claim to read the magazine for the articles because there are none -- just fucked-up blurbs beneath plasticine, vapid, airbrushed women who don’t know how to properly fit their shirts over their entire breasts.



3 Comments


hater from siloam Springs said:

Dead on. SJP needs to just be her weird, giggly, idiosyncratic self and remember that every one of those douchbags thought she was hot in "Square Pegs".


Kay said:

Bro's also listen to Jack Johnson, wear Birkenstocks and love axe body spray and game cube.


abby said:

Dustin -- that, good sir, made my heart skip a beat. I wish we could go on long walks by the beach and talk about our mutual disdain for all things douche-oriented, like Massengil and FHM.

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