Faux Punk: (Noun) MTV punk known for image vs. substance; recognized by wearing too much eye make-up, having funky hair colors, and overall trying too hard.

BFFS (Best Friends for Sometimes) Paris and Nicole went on a "double date" this weekend (Us Weekly's words, not mine) to the opening of their respective Madden Twins new faux punk attire store opening, DCMA. As much as it pains my black little heart to say so, I have to admit that Nicole is actually looking rather radiant, post pregnancy.

But Paris on the other hand (being it that she's one of those retarded kind of girls) is apparently dressing like Punk Rock Powder now that they're dating, making her look even more trannysaurus than usual. I guess she can cross faux punk off the list of Things That Don't Work for Paris Hilton, along with dainty footwear, leaving home without Valtrex, and her hands, in any kind of working or domestic capacity.