Joshua Jackson R.I.P.

joshua_jackson.jpgWe are sad to report today that Joshua Jackson, former star of "Dawson's Creek" and the box-office smash, Skulls, has passed away. News reports indicate that he died of neglect.

Oh, Pacey: We hardly knew you. And then we completely forgot about you. And then you died.


34 Comments


lp said:

is this real? cuz if not, it is pretty horrible


pete said:

Lighten up, LP. Either way its funny.


Cait said:

You scared me for a second there...so soon after Heath Ledger. A little too soon for teen heartthrob death humor.


smuch said:

A day early, you pajibing bastard!


kelly said:

Ok.. not funny.
If it was James Van Der Beek maybe funny. But leave Pacey alone! Besides he was just in the movie 'shutter'.

I agree with Cait.. it's too early for Heart throb death humor.


smexattck said:

i killed him O.O


ShinyKate said:

Gah! You scared the crap out of me!

I had the pleasure of meeting him briefly about a year ago, and he was absolutely lovely.

Long live the friendly, unpretentious actor-dude!


Kay said:

If he had really died of neglect he would be brought back to life by the amount of fangirls googling his name after they read this.

Seriously though, scared the crap out of me.


patty said:

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briana said:

man, that was funny!


Gaby said:

Shit! You scared the hell out of me!


patty said:

I'm going to report this tasteless, pathetic waste of page! Very fucking tasteless and i will not lighten up! death is FUCKING FUNNY YOU MINDLESS TWITS!


Stacey Author Profile Page said:

Who are you gonna report it to, the internet police?


patty said:

DEATH IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY!


patty said:

THIS IS FUCKING AWFUL! YOU PEOPLE ARE THE SCUM OF THE EARTH!


The Internet Police said:

This ticket is a citation for violation of fire code. You have exceeded the number of assholes for a single space. According to Internet Statute 13.3.1, you are limited to the number of assholes that can occupy "interspace" at any given moment. You will need to reduce your assholes by at least one.

Our recommendation is to remove patty. Because patty is a fucking asshole.

That is all.


patty said:

NO YOU ARE THE ASSHOLE! BASTARD!


The Internet Police said:

This ticket is a citation for violation of the Noise Ordnance. You have exceeded the number of capital letters and/or exclamation points issued in your commercial zone. In accordance with Internet Statute 4.20.1b, you must hereby refrain from all usage of capital letters, exclamation points, emoticons, leetspeak, and lolcatz.

Also, since this is capital offense, we must remand user patty for immediate execution. However, since it is against the Geneva Code to commit people found to be "severely retarded" to death, we hereby recommend that she have her uterus spackled with quick drying cement so the rest of society not be subject to further denegration of the genetic pool.

That is all.


carrie said:

I love the site and I troll around here a lot, but this took the cake in tasteless behavior. Unlike most Pajibans, I wasn't born watching Beverly Hills 90210. My teen ensemble was Dawson's Creek and for the most part Joshua Jackson was who I pined for. I love Pajiba and WIMB. It's funny and acerbic and for the most part spot on, but this was horrid.

I still love you guys, but hopefully this doesn't happen again.

much love, carrie


PattyBelle said:

You would think that after the tragic death of heath ledger, people would not be joking around liek this. This is a HUMAN LIFE for crying out loud.


PattyBelle said:

And of course, the only DC castmember that you fuckers just had to pick on was Joshua Jackson.


TL said:

Bad form.


CS said:

Disclaimer: WIMB May Contain Trace Amounts of Satire, Parody, Hyperbole, Sarcasm, and Completely Made-Up Gossip.


Oh, so you're saying that if they picked on Katie Holmes, it would have been just fine?

Wow, the one person in Joshua Jackson's fan club was really pissed off about this...


Bistro said:

I just love the claims of it being "too soon" to mock celebrity death. As though there's a perfectly acceptable time and place to falsely report someone's untimely demise.

And good god do I love you folk. This is brilliant.


patty said:

Falsely reporting a person's death even as a joke is not funny. Even if it is Katie Holmes. NOBODY deserves that.


MissStacey said:

Couldn't you have at least waited until April Fool's Day?


Stacey Author Profile Page said:

(Not to be confused with Madam Stacey.)

So did you guys hear how some rabid "Dawson's Creek" fan named Patty something or other totally ate it today? I heard lightning struck her house and electrocuted her while she was on her computer writing some hot Pacey on Joey fanfic. Her fingers melted right to the keyboard. It was sick. True story.


The Internet Police said:

This ticket is a citation for spamming. User patty is obviously a false name. Nobody would willingly name their child patty. That name is reserved for hamburgers and Charlie Brown lesbians.

In accordance with Internet Statute 5.23.77, user must restitute Katie Holmes with a black dress for Mr. Jackson's funeral. Alleged Husband will not allow access to couple's funds for purchase.

And Michelle Williams already has a black dress.

That is all.


CarpePancakes! said:

No one said anything when we thought Pauly Shore was dead for 7/10ths of a second. And no one even needed to make fun of him, because his being dead was funny enough as is/was.

So what,s so special about this Josh Jackson fellow anyways?


palye said:

Well, Josh is special enough to warrant him a fake death report. There are actors who aren't doing crap right now, go pick on them. Josh is stil alive, he JUST worked on a tv show.

Actually, Pauly shore's "death" was funny cause people don't take him seriously.


Ling said:

While I'm not as rabid as Patty I have to agree with her general thesis. Human life is not a joke. Falsely reporting a death has bad karma attached to it.


Mike said:

lol.


lawyergirl06 said:

I don't care what anyone says. I had to read this twice but my god that was some funny stuff!


Alex said:

Oh Internet Police, you crack me up.

"And Michelle Williams already has a black dress.

That is all."

Bazing!

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