Megalomaniac: (Noun) A person who suffers delusions of their own power or importance.

There are certain films exemplary of American culture, of which it goes without saying that bear no need for improvement. Gone With the Wind. Citizen Cane. Weekend at Bernie's. Casablanca. Oh, hang on... Scratch that last one.

Madonna has stunned the movie industry with plans to remake Casablanca - and this time set it in Iraq. A source at a major Hollywood studio that was recently approached by the 49-year-old star said: "She is still determined to make it in the movies.

The source said: "Madonna is talking about taking the Ingrid Bergman role for herself, even though Bergman was in her 20s when she played Ilsa and Madonna is nearly 50. (Source)

For the love of everything holy. Madonna is even more of an evil megalomaniacal bitch than I ever gave her credit for. Oh sure, why can't Ilsa and Rick be played by S&M granny and her eunuch husband? I'm sure the writers pretty much had that in mind anyway, but Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman were just like, the best they could do on short notice. Whatever. I just hope they film on location and the memo goes out to the insurgents that "stupid white American bitch in town."

Stupid white bitch and her bitch on their fake PR date earlier this month: