Great News: (Colloquial) Typically a phrase loaded with sarcasm when the news is anything but.

Guess what everybody? Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are engaged! Yup. Ashlee released a statement on the same retarded website where they released that retarded clip of theirs.

"We know there has been a lot of speculation recently about Pete and I and we wanted our fans to be the first to know, because you guys are the best. Yes, we are thrilled to share that we are happily engaged. Thank you for all of your support and well wishes - it means the world to us. We consider this to be a very private matter, but we wanted you to hear it straight from us."

This is great news. No really. These two fuck knuckles getting hitched effectively cancels them out of the gene pool, thereby preventing them from spreading their stupid chromosomes to the general population. And you know, I figure if the two of them breed their offspring will be born like a mule or something, unable to carry the lineage further. Win-win!

Mr. and Mrs. Fuck Knuckle at some stupid Karaoke bullshit last week: