I Don't Understand: (Phrase) Complete fucking failure to grasp or comprehend.

Now that Kirsten Dunst has ruined Jake Gyllenhaal for the world, (Reese Witherspoon apparently excluded) -- she's moved onto my next pretend indie film god boyfriend, Ryan Gosling. That bitch.

The pair was spotted drinking and eating all Saturday afternoon and evening at Lower East Side hotspot Freemans. A source tells the New York Post, "They were definitely acting like they were on a date. They lingered there for hours and were both dressed kind of shabby." (Source)

Dressed shabby? That sounds like Kirsten alright. Dammit: I don't understand! The only reason I can think of for this to keep happening is that her vagina must play Allan Clapp and Neutral Milk Hotel every time she opens her legs. Oh, that and God hates me.