Beauty Secrets: (Noun) The confidentially private techniques and products women have to achieve their maximum gorgeousness.

Like me, you've probably assumed Paris Hilton achieves her signature look with the help of a good plastic surgeon, endangered panda placenta and a book of the occult. But in a rare and candid moment, the heiress gave paparazzi in Florida a glimpse into her real beauty secrets -- which embarrassingly enough included a "Clean & Clear" acne control kit, an Oral-B "Pulsar toothbrush and a 3-pack of "Hanes Her Way" white briefs sitting in the back seat of her car. Yikes. Sounds like the old herpes is having a bit of a flare-up, eh? Because I'm not even famous and the only way you'd catch me buying underpants like that is at the K-Mart in the next town over wearing a ski-mask over my face and speaking in a fake German accent.