Guess the nose picker!!!! (Seriously? OMG!)

MacGyvery no longer appealing to Patty and Selma. (Celebslam)

John Travolta displays even more douchebaggery than usual by defending a heavily suspected wife serial murderer. (The Blemish)

The Hogans discover that if life hands you turds, even if you brought those turds upon yourself, just fix yourself a delicious turd sandwich! (CelebritySmack)

Anderson Cooper likes redheads with big, beautiful eyes. (Ayyyy!)

Being a Brangelia Brat (TM, bitches!) sounds awesome. (Popbytes)

Tony Romo says to Jessica, "Why can't I quit you?" (FatbackMedia)

The Lohan sisters have a film of dirt on them not even OxyClean could touch. (IBBB)

HillDuff is so hot could could fry an egg on her butt. (Popoholic)

SATC fans got screwed, and not in the fun, sexy way like on SATC. (AgentBedhead)

Speaking of things Lohan, I bite the bullet to tell you all about their crappy new show. (Pajiba)

Oh, and in case you were wondering -- I'm actively ignoring Pete and Asslee's pregnancy announcement, which is why I haven't reported or linked it. Because I don't care if it's my job, I really do hate them and their stupid unborn baby, too.