I know "Desperate Housewives" has really been sucking lately and her movie bombed, but has it really come to this for Eva Longoria? (Seriously? OMG!)

Ashlee Simpson makes sure she'll never get mistaken for a feminist. (Celebitchy)

Being willing to do it with any and all parties interested doesn't make Lindsay Lohan gay, it just makes her versatile. (Yeeeah!)

Heyoo! Jennifer Hudson's bosoms defy laws of gravity. (Ayyyy!)

Pete Wentz is a regular goddamn prop comedian. (Celebslam)

Jessica Simpson's new country song is available online for anyone who cares to listen, myself absofuckinglutely not included. (Celebrity Smack)

Beyonce looking like she's knocked up and straight off the set of "Good Times." (CelebWarship)

Speaking of, I can almost hear R. Kelly going, "DAMN, DAAMN, DAAAMN!" (The Blemish)

Somebody had a birthday party and somebody exposed her panties. The exciting reveal, here: (IDLYITW)

What. the. fuck. (Pretty on the Outside)

"The Paper's" Amanda Lorber gives me hope for the kids of today. (Pajiba)