Absolute Moron (Noun) Someone who claims fear for her life while simultaneously following her aggressor. 

The Hulk and Linda saga continues. Not content to sleep with people half their age and swap venereal diseases with the cheering section, apparently Linda Hogan has a restraining order out against Hulk, one that Hulk allegedly violated. In fact, that bastion of ill ethics, TMZ, obtained a recording of the 9/11 call that Linda made after Hulk violated the restraining order. Here's a taste of the transcript:

Linda: He’s been ordered away because he’s threatened my life before and I don’t want him around. I’m shaking, I’m following him until he leaves.
911: OK, you said he left, or he is leaving?
Linda: Yeah he left, I’m following him right now.
911: Why are you following him?
Linda: I don’t know
911: Stop following him!

It's unspoken, but the subtext there is "Stop following you, you absolute fucking moron."

It's true, though: This is a real-life honest-to-crackers love story. This is Princess Bride stuff, people. Or at least Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson. She's terrified for her life, yet she can't keep away from him. That's when you know it's true love: When you are compelled to follow him knowing that a legdrop and the sleeper hold is only seconds away.

Those two crazy (white-trash) kids are meant to be, I know it in my bones.