Movie Star
Movie Star: (Noun) A famous and talented actor who plays leading roles in film.Well, it looks like Ali Lohan's dream of becoming her sister is now this much closer to becoming true. Ali is reportedly up for a part in a remake of the 1986 "horror" movie Troll -- a movie so shitty, it might actually be worse than I Know Who Killed Me. If you've managed to go your whole life without catching a weekend cable airing of this ridiculous shit, check out the description from IMDB:
An evil troll, Torok, the transformed state of the ex-husband of an old friendly witch named Eunice St. Clair, has chosen her apartment building to be the heart of the restoration of the world he once knew. To do this he uses an Emerald ring, and takes possession of a little girl named Wendy, whose brother Harry immediately suspects something wrong. Torok, often in the form of the little girl, goes into each occupant's apartment, hideously transforming people into plant pods.
Of Lohan's audition, director John Carl Buechler (as in, the same guy who wrote and directed the original) had this to say:
"She was great," Buechler tells me. "The camera loves her. She's a really good actress...I am personally going to fight for her." Buechler says the $25 million remake is being financed independently: "It's a retelling of the original story with some twists." (Source)
Being that the only thing Ali Lohan has got going on now is starring in a reality show about her desperation for any kind of fame whatsoever, I don't understand why he thinks he'll have to fight for her. Unless of course by "twists" he actually means "a substantial amount of troll fucking" -- then yeah, he might actually have to fight some kind of child decency laws. Although from what I hear, Dina Lohan is an old pro with cutting through that pesky red tape.
Oh. My. God.
My cousins and I used to watch this movie every time their family came for a visit and we were shunted off to the other room so the parents could have "adult time." It is, without shame or reservation, one of my favorite movies. This news makes me sad. Not so much that Ali Lohan is going to be in it (which is pretty bad) but that they're remaking it at all. It's worth NOTHING without June Lockhart and Sono Bono. NO. THING.
that is all.
Just so we're straight...Troll is the movie's title, not a description of Ali, right?
Right, Jen? It's like if they decided to remake The Peanut Butter Solution.
And, Mrs. P: I'm pretty sure you just figured out the "twist."
Seriously. A friend of mine at work just argued that it's better to make unnecessary remakes of these horrible movies than it is to make unnecessary remakes of "good" movies but his examples included the upcoming Robocob remake so I'm not sure he's using the term "good" properly. Once you put Robocop in that catagory I'm pretty sure Troll belongs in there too, for June's performance if nothing else. And um, yeah I totally ordered the double disc Troll/Troll2 DVD just now so I can watch it this weekend.
Herber Herber Wink Herber Herber Wink (or however that troll song goes, I'll let you know after this weekend.)
oh wait...here it is!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfteEihDzEI&feature=related
Hrm...my before that comment didn't post. Well, I only said that a friend of mine at work argued it was better to have unnecessary remakes of "bad" movies like Troll than "good" movies like Robocop, which makes me doubt his credibility a little because I think they both belong in the same catagory...And then I tried to quote the troll song phonetically...which one should never, ever do. Hence, the youtube link.
OK, I'm done now.
Sorry, our spam filter is a haughty little bitch. And sorry to embarrass you by publishing both of your comments.
Heh heh, and sorry for the third time. That movie buh-lows. I'm gonna be hearing that damn song in my nightmares.
Does that mean that they're casting Ali as the troll? Makes sense to me...
But it's so bad it's HILARIOUS!
And you shant change my mind. Embarrass away.