Mystery: (Noun) Something that is difficult or impossible to understand or explain.

Amy Winehouse is still under medical care after the mysterious fainting spell which landed her in the hospital earlier this week, to undergo additional testing while doctors try to figure out just what in the heck is wrong with her!

Winehouse's father, Mitch, who drove his daughter to the clinic, told London's Telegraph that his daughter will remain hospitalized "as long as possible" until her physicians determine a proper diagnosis. (Source)

I don't know about Amy, but I've got a little medical dilemma of my own. For the past few weeks, I've been plagued with violent, uncontrollable diarrhea. It started about the same time I began this new rapid weight loss diet I read about on the internet, where you're guaranteed to lose up to 20 pounds in a month by eating nothing but sauerkraut. I thought maybe I should mention that to my doctor, but doctors are busy, y'know? He doesn't want to hear about the mundane details of my life. Anywho, I'm headed back to the hospital next week for a colonoscopy... So, hopefully that'll clear things up.

Good news, though -- the diet is totally working! If the assplosions ever stop making the inside of my toilet look like a Jackson Pollock, I think it's safe to say someone is going to look smoking hot in a bikini this summer!

Speaking of smoking hot... (Editor's note: Look kids! The glamorous world of drugs!)