Second Coming
Second Coming: (Noun) The prophesied return of Christ to earth at the Last Judgment.Because apparently Christian music doesn't already suck enough, in an interview with USA Today, Heidi Montag says that she wants to record a Christian album because she has always had a "crazy connection to God." I guess no one told her that God hates famewhores.
However, when questioned about decidedly un-Christian behavior, such as spreading rumors of a Lauren Conrad sex tape -- Heidi reasonably compares herself to Jesus Christ:
God knows the truth in all of this, and at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters. Jesus was persecuted, and I'm going to get persecuted, ya know? But it doesn't matter to me.
So to recap: Jesus Christ was persecuted because of his religious beliefs. Heidi Montag is persecuted because she's a stupid whore who everyone hates. That's practically the same thing, right? Because hey, if it means we can crucify her, I'm all for that. I've got a brand new dress hanging in the closet, just waiting for a good old fashioned crucifixin' to wear it to. You bring the giant nails and wooden cross; I'll bring the potato salad!
Here are some photos of Heidi not wearing makeup, just like Jesus:
I learned a new expression this year; that being "people like her need to have their brain paralyzed" and today, this disgraceful being is that girl. I am not religious but her ego is disgusting and she just made enemies with have the world just about.
Hmm, sorry, but all I have are these salt encrusted, lemon soaked stakes and this 200-pound jackhammer. And I don't have a cross on me, but I do have this oddly t-shaped piece of jagged, rusty metal. Would that do, or would we be going easy on her?
Wait--is she predicting that ugly guy that always hangs out with her is going to sell her out and get her crucified? Her 'crazy' connection with God is truly impressive.