If Paris Hilton is really pregnant, either Benji Madden some some kind of X-Men strain of sperm or Jesus is coming back and God has a really good fucking sense of humor. (Yeeeah!)

Aaand, the Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller marriage deathwatch begins... Now! (popbytes)

Crybaby Nick Hogan gets just what he wanted, all dick and no box. (The Blemish)

Vin Diesel made a Vin Dies-let. What, you think this is easy coming up with these zingers? You try it! (CelebWarship)

Dina Lohan too much of an A-lister for the A-list Awards. (IBBB)

Mario Lopez and Karina Smirnoff no longer dating. In related news, Mario Lopez and Karina Smirnoff used to go out. What? I can't pay attention to everything. (Seriously? OMG!)

Justin Timberlake is finally going to have some semblance of masculinity around the house. (Celebslam)

It's The Mighty Hercules and the Putter of Destiny! (Ayyyy!)

Britney has finally found the perfect way to look sexy: next to a bunch of manly female impersonators. (Celebitchy)

In all fairness, we've found somebody to review Adam Sandler's new movie who represents the target audience. (Pajiba)