Lily Allen, you have earned my respect. Consider this my personal blessing to go earn yourself a mugshot, and I won't say word one. (Evil Beet)

Goddamn, Paris got fat! This is what happens when you settle down, ladies. (Celebslam)

Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson prove that true love is stronger than a string of failed marriages and menagerie of STDs. (Yeeeah!)

Nikki Cox is starring in a sequel to Howard the Duck. (The Blemish)

That Violet Affleck certainly is a mischievous little scamp! FYI: This is exactly why I'm never having kids. (Celebitchy)

Starz tries to make lemonade out of slutty, poorly acted lemons. (Agent Bedhead)

Hilary Duff tries to hide her cameltoe. (IBBB)

Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer go on a double date. (CelebritySmack)

What's the difference between ABBA, Culture Club and Coldplay? Nobody wants to fucking sing Coldplay at a bar when they're trying to have fun. (GlitteratiGossip)

A "Grey's Anatomy" insider responds to Heigl's comments; apologizes for such poor material to work with. Kidding!!!!! They all totally hate her. (Seriously? OMG!)