Britney shows up to court dressed presentably with her hair brushed and wearing a bra and everything. Mommy! I'm scared! (Yeeeah!)

Tori Spelling shows us her "miracle baby." I think the miracle is that it's not a real baby. That thing looks like it's made of plastic. (Seriously? OMG!)

Showgirls on Broadway would be the best thing to happen since peanut butter met jelly. (Film Experience)

Ben and Jen are like, we are totally not breaking up so shut your stupid face Ted Casablanca, if that's even your real name. (Celebitchy)

Brazilian media says that Karolina Kurkova is a fatty. Bwuh? (The Blemish)

Fun with Photoshop: Stupid A-hole Mario Lopez edition. (Radar)

Solange Knowles is the victim of great treachery. (Ayyyy!)

Because Brooke Hogan apparently has nothing better to worry about than those photos of her dad putting lotion on her ass, she informs us that's it's totally normal. (Celebslam)

Borat's banana hammock is inspiring men's fashions. Kill me now. (Agent Bedhead)

Kirsten Bell offers to let us check under the hood. (HQ Celebrity)