Turns out, in order to make Forbes Top 100 Celebrities' list, you need only have blond hair and a penchant for getting drunk in public. If only I had the blonde hair, damnit. (Celebslam)

God! Yes! Celebrity "Family Feud." Where else are you going to find Kim Kardishian and Larry the Cable Guy battle it out in a game of witlessness? (Seriously? OMG!)

Ashley Tisdale doesn't have AIDS. Hey, me neither! (The Blemish)

Damn! Make this known: In a fight between you and the pavement, the pavement always wins, bitches. Ask Naomi Campbell. (Yeeeah!)

Not that you don't already know it, but John Mayer is a woman ruiner. Also a ruiner of decent music. (Celebitchy)

Help a brother out: Who is Shauna Sand and why should we care about her? (HQ Celebrity)

Kirsten Dunst remains an arch-nemisis to the camera. (Celebwarship)

Kate Hudson's toddler is already into breasts. Well, you gotta start sometime. (Ayyyy!)

Ryan Reynolds, in complete disregard to Alanis' feelings, continues to make movies. Bastard. (Pajiba)