Porn Star (Noun) A person who performs sexual acts on camera.

Early enough for you? Are you feeling wide awake? Have you had your morning coffee yet? A big bowl of cereal? Raisin bran, huh? Yeah. That's good stuff. Lots of fiber. Make ya regular. Oh, and a donut, too, huh? Nice breakfast fattie. You slather that donut with cream cheese, too? Figures.

Well, get ready to heave it all back up, sports fans. Don't bother sticking your finger down your throat this morning; I've got blog ipecac, a nice piece of mental imagery that's gonna wrack your tummy with spasms, and turn that 2,000 calorie breakfast into a zero calorie puddle. On your keyboard.

Bill Bellichick has a sex tape. Yeah. You heard me.

I heard from someone who is close to the case that there is a sex tape of Bill Belichick banging the married woman he had an affair with. I shit you not. The husband who is suing that woman for being unfaithful to him has a tape of his wife and Belichick screwing while the two of them were still married.(Source)

Oh, I'm sorry. Did you come here for celebrity gossip? Who gives a shit. This here is real news! The devil himself is a porn star. The most evil man in sports has been caught on camera shoving his devil-horned penis into a blonde woman that looks vaguely like Dina Lohan. Oh sure: That tape may never see the light of day (thank fucking God), but the knowledge that it exists is surely enough to haunt half of America.

Bill Belichick: Porn star. Write it down. Run it through your head. You think he wears those sleeveless hoodies to bed? You think he draws diagrams of his girlfriend's body before he goes exploring? Hell, if the past is any indication, he probably has a file of sex tapes of his girlfriend and her old partners, which he uses for research. Fucking cheater.