Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.  (Kissing Suzy Kolber)

John Mayer concedes he may have accidentally slipped his penis into a fan's vagina once way back when. (Celebitchy)

Awww, isn't it cute when Tobey Maguire gets mad? Hims cute iddle veins stick right out of hims neck. (Celebslam)

It's not for me to judge, I suppose, but if I had a Frankentummy, I doubt I'd show it off every opportunity I had. Not the case with Tara Reid. (Usemycompter)

Marilyn Manson is not only bald, but when his wig is removed, he runs like a ninny. (Yeeeah!)

Who is on your five freebies list? You don't have to scratch off Mickey Rourke on our account. (Pajiba)

Battle of the super sperm swallowers. (Celebrity Smack)

You mess with the bull, you get the backside of Amy Winehouse's hand. (The Blemish)

Ethan Hawke got married in a super secret ceremony, and by "super secret," I mean, no one gave a shit enough to show up. (Celebwarship)

And, because it's what she does, Lohan flashes her cootch. Again. (IDLYITW)