You'd be better off just donating your $10 to charity than spending it on Hancock. (Pajiba)

If Kate Beckinsale's boob falls out of her dress in public and no one gets a picture, would it even have been sexy? (The Blemish)

Jennifer Aniston jealous of Kim Stewart? That's like me being jealous of the cashier at the Wal-Mart for making eyes at my man. Oh, I'm kidding. I don't shop at Wal-Mart. (Celebitchy)

Katie Holmes is to Broadway revenue what the thought of your grandmother naked is to your boner. (Yeeeah!)

Britney and Adnan: together again for the first time. (IDLYITW)

Get a glimpse inside Lindsay and Sam's lesbian love nest. My metaphorical eyes! I'm not supposed to get lesbian love nest in them! (Celebslam)

Why would Mario Lopez turn down Playgirl? My guess is that it's because all the crunches in the world don't make up for a small penis. Oh yeah, I said it. (Seriously? OMG!)

Three out of four experts agree, Angelina's twins will definitely be girls and/or boys. (CelebritySmack)

Christie Brinkley's divorce trial is messier than making a shit smoothie with no lid on the blender. (Socialte's Life)

Matt Damon started on his 4th of July burgers and beer a few months early. I, on the other hand, am only starting a half a day early. And just with the beer. The extra low-cal kind. Eh, just make it a Pinot Grigio. Have a fantastic holiday everyone! (DailyStab)