Ugly Stick
Ugly Stick (Noun) A stick that has the magical property of turning anyone touched with
it, ugly. A beating from the ugly stick will have a much more severe
effect than just a casual touch. Ugly sticks come from Ugly Trees, which can be found clumped together in ugly forests.
Well, I suppose we can guess at why Madonna and Guy Ritchie are having marital difficulties. He beat the hell out of her with an ugly stick. Domestic abuse is not cool, Guy. And neither is Madonna's new look: Nouveau Hideous. Holy Jim Beam.
Man, I wouldn't fuck Madonna with Madonna's dick, as the kids say.
Seriously, there's a woman outside our building who offers sex for crack money who looks significantly better than that photo.
She has fallen sway to the Power of the One Ring! Now, she's a Nazgul, a Ring-Wraith and a slave to His bidding! She will never stop hunting you, Frodo!