It's a slow news day, and by "news," I mean fairly insignificant details involving the lives of celebrities. And since Stacey isn't around to make those insignificant details amusing, I dug deep into the blind recesses of my mind and decided to sniff the career trail of one Andrea Elson, better known to most as Lynn Tanner on the 80s television sitcom, "Alf." 

For four years in the late 80s, Andrea Elson played second-fiddle to Alyssa Milano in the masturbation fantasies of teenage boys. Andrea was absolutely smoking, in that girl-next-door with huge fucking hair sort of way. She was television's female counterpoint to Kirk Cameron (and ironically, they look similar). So, where is she now?

She completely disappeared. The last known photograph of her is shown above. She married a production assistant on "Alf," had a child, and then, the best I can surmise, she moved to suburbia, put her daughter in public school, and probably works for some charity organization while living off the paltry "Alf" royalties, which is plenty enough for her and her small family, who go out to Applebees once a month and otherwise like to stay in, pop some popcorn, and watch old movies curled up on the couch.

But every once in a while, a neighbor or someone at the supermarket will recognize her,  which will ever so slightly stoke the acting embers in her soul. She'll go home and contemplate a return to Hollywood for a few hours, then forget about it when "Dancing with the Stars" comes on, as she puts her head on her husband's shoulder and thanks her good Lord for what she's been lucky enough to have.

Be well, Andrea. Wherever you are.