Wish In One Hand, Sh*t in the Other. See Which One Fills First. (Expression) When a person wants the impossible.

Despite all the staged photographic evidence to the contrary, Now Magazine -- which is, like, The Wall Street Journal of gossip rags -- is reporting that things aren't exactly peachy fucking keen in the magical fairy love land of Nick and Mariah.

Nick, 27, is said to be sick and tired of his 38-year-old wife’s diva demands. ‘Things are really bad between them,’ one insider says. ‘The honeymoon period was over before it began. 'Nick’s been surprised at just how demanding his wife is. He moans that she has him waiting on her hand and foot. He’s realised that he doesn’t really like her very much.’

The couple wed on 30 April after dating for just 5 weeks, but even Nick’s friends predicted the marriage wouldn’t last 6 months. 'She treats him like an assistant,' a friend of Mariah's says. 'Not like an equal or her husband.' (Source)

Well, it is nice to see that Nick has joined the rest of the world in realizing that he doesn't like Mariah very much. But if he's wishing for a divorce, he can wish in one hand and shit in the other, and see which one fills first. Not only would divorce be career suicide for Nick -- whose resume essentially includes Drumline, Roll Bounce, Married Mariah Carey -- but that crazy lady ain't gonna leave him out of her sight long enough to allow him to find a lawyer and file for divorce. "Til Death Do You Part" doesn't mean three fucking months -- it means until you die of exhaustion, after you've rubbed the corns off her feet, taken out the trash, mowed the lawn, gone down on your woman, and built a motherfucking birdhouse for her soul.

Take the easy way out, son. Next time she asks you if she looks fat in a dress, just nod your head yes and pick up your head somewhere in the middle of next week.