Beard Comb Over (Noun) The act of covering a bald head by combing the beard up the side of the face and over the top of the naked part of the head.

We see right through you, Peter. We see what you're going for. Why don't you just not, OK. Just don't. Shave the beard. Shave that face-beaver off. Allow nature to happen. And just pray that you can hold on to Maggie better than you can hang on to that once glorious head of hair.