Broke-ass: (Adjective) Of something that is cheap, shabby or overall busted condition.

Paris Hilton unveiled her new product called The Bandit this weekend, which despite sounding like a method of birth control or feminine product; is actually a new line of broke-ass fake hair. How broke-ass, you ask? Well, let me say this: there's velcro involved:

The Bandit is the first interchangeable hair extension headband. Because the hair extensions are literally attached with Velcro to the headband, The Bandit is simple, easy to use, and allows anyone to change their look within minutes!

It sounds perfect for anyone, who -- as a little girl -- looked at their Barbie's yellow nylon hair and said to themselves, "Yeah, I want that shit on my head." Likewise, it also sounds perfect for anyone who doesn't mind dying a gruesome death after their entire head explodes into flames in the event of a fire emergency. Because the only retardant about velcro hair is you, if you're actually caught wearing it.

Ms. Retardant herself, modeling her new line: